Since it is Valentine’s Day, I guess I will post something on the theme of love. How corny! 🙂 Just kidding. Seriously, with today being a holiday that focuses so much on the topic of love, here are some thoughts on the subject.
We often accidentally hide from love.
When we’ve done something wrong, we hide. When we’ve been hurt, we hide. The reason for this is that hurt and guilt lead to something called shame. Shame tells us there is something wrong with us. Shame causes us to want to hide ourselves like Adam and Eve did in the garden. When we hide, we essentially isolate ourselves. No one gets to know the real us because we don’t let them. It’s scary to open up. If we do, we might get rejected again. But something else happens in isolation that is very sad. We fail to receive love. The reason for this is simple: if we do not let others know the real us, they only see our masks. Masks can be admired and even rewarded, but they can never get us love. Love can only be received when we trust others with who we really are.
True love doesn’t get sidetracked by imperfection.
When we know that someone truly knows us, the good and the bad, then we are able to receive the love they offer to us because it is offered to us unconditionally. This is a reflection of our relationship with God. He loves us, all the time. His love is purely and perfectly unconditional, so it is not based on our behaviors and good performances. Instead, He offers Grace and Love to us because that is who He is and He has adopted us as His children, never to be rejected and left alone. However, although His love is always available, we do not always experience it. We cannot receive it when we are not trusting Him with ourselves. Humility can be defined in this way: trusting Him with me. When I act out in faith in that way, I am relying upon His Grace to be more real and present than the shame that tells me I am not good enough.
We are loved and we desire to love others. That’s who we are.
Residing in His Grace, my identity is founded upon a powerful truth: I AM LOVED. When I am living out of that reality of being loved, I am flooded with so much of it that I naturally want to share it with others. We cannot hoard God’s love. It’s impossible. There is no love received, and therefore none given, in isolation. We can certainly hoard the knowledge of it, but we cannot hoard the real thing when we experience it in a trusting relationship. It’s just so wonderful and freeing that we are driven to want others to experience it also. Getting and giving love goes hand-in-hand. It’s almost simultaneous.
When we fail to love others, we need love ourselves.
So, if we are having a difficult time loving others today, or any day…perhaps we need to consider that our tank is empty because we are failing to receive it ourselves. Maybe, just maybe, we might need to come out of hiding, open ourselves up to God and/or a trust person in our lives, and allow ourselves to receive the love we so desperately need. Loving others will come quickly after.
Giving and receiving love requires a safe place.
Of course, everyone is not safe to open up to. Some of us are so hurt and broken at times, we reject others who share themselves with us. Likewise, when we are ready to open up to others, they sometimes do the same to us. Thankfully, God is always a safe place to collapse into, allowing all of our hurt and guilt to be resolved in His Grace. He also provides special people in our lives to extend His Grace to us so that we can experience His love through them. Identifying these people can be difficult. It takes courage to risk being real with someone, but worthwhile. We internally long for moments when we find a safe place and that person loves us with nothing hidden. When we have those experiences, we become a safe place ourselves, loving others when they act less than perfect…just like us.
-Neil
-Neil
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