A big disappointment in life, to me, is not so much that people will make up and tell lies but that so many others seem eager to choose to believe them without any detective work whatsoever. I’m not talking politics or any of the stories perpetrated by the media, while there’s plenty of worthless filth in all of that. Nope, I’m referring to the worthless filth known as regular old gossip. The juicier (more degrading) the gossip, the better, it almost always seems. I know when I have said this to people they often cringe a bit, but I truly believe many people want to believe terrible things about others. I believe they actually enjoy it. Just notice the smiles and excitement on the faces of those doing it and those leaning in to hear what “so and so did”. Once they go all in, believing fully in the dirt they’ve been given, they don’t ever want to hear anything to the contrary. If they did, they’d do some checking on their own before believing whatever story recently tickled their ears. I just don’t see many others seeking out the subject of gossip to see if it’s true or not. I’ve seen people get visibly angry and dismissive with me when I offer an alternative to their awful take on someone else. Then they go on to gladly and eagerly distribute it freely to as many people who will listen, unfortunately adding credence to potentially reputation-destroying rumors.
In the rare event that a gossip story is true, how is it ever fair to judge someone by their worst moments? And what does it say about us if we actually enjoy doing that (not that any of the people doing it would admit it)? I’d hate to be judged by my worst decisions and behaviors in life, as they don’t tell the whole story. But I certainly have been, because no one is immune to it. People are hurt this way all the time, even though it is done behind their backs. The scarlet letter can be secretly placed on anyone. People don’t have to know what is being said about them to have their lives changed by it.
In part, this post is a vent. Admittedly, I’m hoping someone who is about to partake in this will read it and feel maybe just an ounce of guilt that may cause them to hesitate before doing this to another fellow human being. I feel ridiculous typing that because, sadly, I doubt that happens. Mostly, this post is just a dark observation about humans, spurred by the fact that I recently had a strong reminder of how horrible some people can be towards others that do not deserve such treatment. But truthfully, this is not entirely a bad thing. In a way it reminds me of those in my life that I CAN trust to believe the best about me, and not judge me by the absolute worst thing they can come up with. It’s a short, short list, but I am happy to have each one of those special people in my life.