A few Monday nights ago, it happened again. For those of you who know my story, you will recall my past struggle with fear, anxiety, and panic attacks. Well, these old acquaintances have paid me a visit over the past two weeks or so. On that Monday night, the granddaddy of them all (a massive panic attack) snuck up on me about midnight. Continue reading “A Painful Reminder”
Category: Posts by Neil
A Neverending Cycle
Years ago, Derek Webb penned these lyrics to the Caedmon’s Call song “Thankful”:
I ran across an old box of letters
While I was bagging up
Some clothes for Goodwill
You know I had to laugh
That the same old struggles
That plagued me then
Are plaguing me still
It can be massively discouraging when we come to the realization that we continue to wrestle with the same things over and over in life. We wonder if we will ever be free of those things we despise about ourselves and/or our behavior. Is there any hope for us when we discover we are stuck in a cycle we’ve tried so hard to break? Continue reading “A Neverending Cycle”
Letting Our Guard Down
Last night I came home from work (my day job, not counseling) in a pretty good mood. I went about doing several little things I wanted to do, including warming up some delicious supper that my wife had made on Sunday and turning on some TV to watch (by the way, Wu-Tang: An American Saga is pretty cool for those like me who enjoyed Wu-Tang’s music back in the day). Continue reading “Letting Our Guard Down”
Listening
As a counselor, listening is a big part of what I offer others as they come to me with struggles that need to be shared and worked through. Below are some thoughts that came to me today as one of my good friends spurred a conversation about this topic. Continue reading “Listening”
The Perfect Temperature
In the mornings I typically take a few minutes to turn on the news to catch the weather. Personally, I prefer warmer weather. I would rather be hot than cold, so what I want to hear from the meteorologist is that the day is going to be sunny, warm, and dry. Now, I know everyone has their preference. Some love the winter and want some snow on the ground. Others, like those who farm for a living, want to see the right amount of rain in the forecast. There seems to be an abundance of opinions on what the perfect temperature, humidity, and cloud cover would be for today. Continue reading “The Perfect Temperature”
What Matters More?
What we do matters less than who we are. How we do things matters less than for whom we do them. (From the book Ascent of a Leader by Thrall, McNicol, and McElrath)
Living in God’s grace means living our lives out of who God created us to be. We can only reach our human potential outside of allowing Him to guide us to our true destiny. This path requires humility, which is not self-deprecation but rather choosing to trust God and others with ourselves by being vulnerable and truly allowing them a voice in our lives. Faith takes action as we choose to act on conviction rather than opportunity. This grace-based, relationship-oriented lifestyle leads us to be less focused on selfish ambition and more experienced in being loved and loving others.
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:8-10, ESV)
-Neil
Easy Going
“Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?” (Galatians 3:2, ESV)
A common lie that I have caught myself falling for is this:
“The only thing of value is something I have to work hard for.” Continue reading “Easy Going”
The Real Gift We Have to Offer
“…we tend to forget that our real gift is not so much what we can do, but who we are.” (Henri Nouwen)
One lie that we often believe is that we need to do more. “Do less bad!, do more good!”, we are told. For some of us, we feel and are told that what we do is never enough. Perhaps that is not our problem. What if we don’t know or have forgotten who we are? What if we are more than what we do? As Nouwen puts it, maybe the real gift that we have to offer the world is being who God created us to be. To offer the best of what we have, we must be able to see ourselves the way God sees us. In Christ, we are loved, we are blessed, we are forgiven, we are secure, we have purpose, we are unconditional accepted, and we are everything God wants us to be. With that kind of perspective and understanding of ourselves, we can offer others an awesome gift anytime we interact with them: us.
-Neil
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We Are Being Lied To
I look in the mirror, and I do not like what I see. The labels of failure, loser, outcast, and idiot all whirl around inside my head. Do you ever have days like that? I’m talking about those days when we do not feel like we measure up. We find ourselves comparing ourselves to those around us. We don’t feel as well put together as the people we see and know. Continue reading “We Are Being Lied To”
Priceless
When something goes wrong with the HVAC unit at my home, I have someone I call for help. He has all the knowledge and ability to repair and perform maintenance on the unit, but that’s not the main reason I call him. Of course, those things are important, but there’s something much more important to me. I trust this guy. He does what he says he is going to do. He is dependable. He is honest as well. One time, he made a minor mistake, but he owned up to it immediately. I would have no problem leaving him a key to my house for him to go in while I wasn’t there in order to complete a job. Continue reading “Priceless”