Devotionals – Page 6 – neilmclamb.com

Just Being Me

I still get surprised by God’s loving grace and mercy. I work hard to get things “right” and when I take time to actually slow down and think I’m reminded of how simple experiencing life really is. I know you’re thinking, “Simple! I’m drowning every day and can’t seem to catch up!” Simple is not typically a word used to describe our daily lives and trust me when I say that I do not always believe in the simplicity either. More times than not I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off and have a to-do list a mile long!

I was recently reflecting on a sermon I heard from John Lynch (at Open Door Fellowship in Phoenix) and read from Proverbs 3 & Ecclesiastes 10. I was again reminded and surprised by God’s simple love & instruction. It all comes back to identity: knowing who I am because of God’s love and believing in that even when it doesn’t feel right. When this is happening daily life looks different. I can rest in the simple parts of my daily life. Typically, I am doing the opposite and end up trying to force myself to just make it through another day.

Proverbs 3: 1-6 (ESV) says “My (child), do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths.”

God has been reminding me that living out of who we really are (who He has already made us to be) is what leads us to experiencing life. First and foremost, we have to know who we are. We have to let Him teach us and trust what He says about us. That may come in the form of affirmation from others, difficult conversations with others, scripture, or many other ways. We are loved. We are faithful. Why? Because He is love and He is faithful and we were made in His image. There’s nothing we have to do as His children to become loving and faithful. Accepting the relationship He wants with me and being His child makes me that way.

When I forget or forsake those things then I begin to lean on my own understanding. Then I begin believing that my identity and worth is only based on what I can do. I think I am nothing but a sinful person that has to try harder to keep things together, love and be good. Let the striving to attain the perfect life begin. And do you know what comes next? Frustration, anger, bitterness, broken relationships, more striving, feelings of failure, overindulgence in things as I look for what will make me feel better. These are some of my top outcomes but the list can go on and on. The cycle repeats and repeats. All of that boils down to the fact that I have forgotten who I am.

Sometimes I think I forget it because I just simply cannot believe that it is true. I do not think I am worthy enough to be made in His image or to be loved by God and others. I do not think it can really be as simple as trusting God. There has to be a catch, right? I keep looking for the string attached. There is no string. I am loved. He made me that way.

Ecclesiastes 10:10 says, “If the iron is blunt, and one does not sharpen the edge, he must use more strength, but wisdom helps one to succeed.” Verse 15 says, “The toil of a fool wearies him, for he does not know the way to the city.”

Both of these verses affirmed for me what I was describing earlier. The iron was designed to be sharp. When I try to use it differently than it’s intended purpose then I have to work a lot harder. I have to use more and more strength and completely wear myself out. Letting the iron be sharp like it was made to be allows the job to just happen without so much effort. I am being foolish when I try to be something else and when I refuse to believe who I really am. I am not only hurting myself but those around me. I am wandering around lost and afraid. I grab any remedy and rules I think will help make me better. I am unable to experience life because I am too busy trying to find it. I already have life. Embracing who I am because of Christ allows me to experience it.

God’s grace and mercy is sufficient to cover all the times we forget who we are and His love is plentiful enough to continue to remind us of the truth. . . . Even when I trust who He made me to be just a tiny, tiny amount there is such freedom and life experienced that it automatically flows from me. I’m then able to experience daily life from a different perspective.

-Melissa

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Have Your Way

“For ‘All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever.’ And this word is the good news that was preached to you.” (1 Peter 1:24, ESV)

Grass and flowers eventually die. Even the most beautiful flowers eventually shrivel up and waste away. Our human potential is similar to these things. Human beings are amazing creatures. Some of us are capable of pretty fantastic accomplishments. However, our potential is limited. We can only go so far and accomplish so much, and if you take notice, those of us who strive and strive for the top never seem to be fully satisfied. The payoff may be great for a while, but it is always temporary.

Reaching our own potential cannot compare to God’s predestined plan for our lives.

God has a different plan for us than trying to live up to our human potential. His power is eternal, not limited like our own abilities. His plan’s beauty never fades. His ways are better than our ways. Trusting in my own ability to manage my life only allows me to reach my flesh’s potential. Trusting God opens me up to realize the destiny He has planned for me long before I was even conceived.

But how can we tap into this “destiny”, or God’s plan for our lives? As stated above, trusting God is the key. First we need to call attention to the cycle that we are in. It must be broken.

Submission to God’s plan begins with breaking our control cycle.

I want to be in control of my life. Sure, I know the right thing to say is that I submit to God’s plan. Sure, I know that limits me to accomplishing only my human potential. However, I often lean on my own understanding. To say otherwise would be a lie. I only need to look at the evidence that clearly proves I tend to have control issues. I am often frustrated when my meticulous schedule for the day is messed up somehow, and I catch myself getting angry when others do not act the way I want them to. We all need to be honest about our tendency to try to do things in our own power. If we cannot own this behavior, then we will remain stuck in that control cycle. Humility is the only way to break the cycle, which means being open and honest about ourselves with others and God. This often starts with being willing to be honest with ourselves.

By grace through faith (trust) we are saved, not just once but moment by moment, and able to do the things He has planned for us.

Unfortunately, we Christians tend to throw around words like “faith” and “trust” to the point that they lose their impact. Merely knowing these important theological words will not free us to live out the destiny God has for us. We must experience these intimately with our Father in Heaven.

Trusting God means trusting who He says He is and who He says I am. When we trust Him, we submit to His will in our lives and are able to experience what He has planned for us. To be able to submit to Him in any way, it is key to trust that His involvement in our lives is motivated by love. We will be prone to trust those that we believe love us, and His love is unconditional. Therefore, it is the most trustworthy of all love that we can ever experience.

Many life experiences whisper to us that He cannot be trusted. Our wounds and fears warn us to self-protect rather than trust Him to take care of us. I believe Jesus’ extravagant love demonstrated before and on the cross was necessary for us to be able to connect with and trust God…particularly after we have lived in this broken world that wounds us each and every day.

Experiencing God’s destiny for us is synonymous with living out of who God says I am.

We cannot take a step into our God-given destiny without knowing who He says we are and then trusting that truth to the point that we act on it. Believing the truth of who we really are in Christ allows us access to God’s power to make decisions based on conviction rather than fear, shame, or some warped human desire that gets us caught back up in the human potential/control cycle.

Rather than reading the Bible to find out what to do, we need to read the Bible while asking “Who are you God and who do you say that I am?”

God is not a fairy god mother we can persuade to do things our way, and the Bible is not a manual on how to reach our human potential. It is much more freeing and helpful to seek Scripture as a source of revealing who God really is and who He says we really are. As God shows us these precious realities, we have access to the truth we need to then trust in our daily lives. And as we walk in these truths, we walk according to the Spirit and into God’s destiny for us: to live out of who He says we are.

As we forego reaching our human potential, we begin to be able to pray the prayer that a hymnist wrote many years ago. “Have thine own way, Lord. Have thine own way.” His way is so much better than mine.

The Labels That Break Our Hearts

Labels describe what we do but we tend to use them to define who we are.

How would you describe yourself? Most of us would say we are a mother or father, husband or wife, nurse, teacher, etc. We label things to define them. Giving things a label gives it a purpose. We do not just label things though. We also label ourselves and other people. Sometimes we wear those labels like a name badge. We work hard to keep the label and make the one that gave it to us very proud. The label itself is usually not a bad thing. It is twisted and turned though when it becomes our identity.

Sometimes we label ourselves and sometimes others label us. Very loving and well-meaning people in our lives put some labels on us. You become known as the person that is funny, smart, skinny, organized, stylish, etc. None of those traits are bad. Part of God’s design was for each of us to have characteristics that we could share with others through our lives.

Characteristics describe us but do not define us. When these traits become our identity, we begin to live through this identity. Our daily life revolves around keeping this identity. We have to always make someone laugh to continue to be funny. We have to study a set number of hours daily to continue to be smart. We can only eat a certain number of calories per day to continue to be skinny. We make a list of rules to follow to protect our identity.

This becomes hard work. Eventually we break. We shatter and flounder around because we cannot keep up the charade. We cannot do all that has to be done to keep our identity. We get tossed around in a sea of frustration, anger, depression, guilt, mood swings, and broken relationships. And this just names a few rocks we may hit. We typically feel ashamed of ourselves. This shame causes us to either work harder or just give up. Either way we suffer. Our relationships suffer.

Grace smooths my edges

Truth is still truth even though we do not always believe it. Even when I am believing that I am only as good as my label God is there with me and nudging me to remember that I am more than a label. He reminds me who I really am: beautiful, made new, loved, accepted, secure, righteous, holy and more. I can feel one way and the truth can be a different way. He does not push my feelings aside as if they are stupid. He acknowledges my feelings. He places others in my path that listen to me through my anger and frustration. He lovingly reminds me that what I do does not define who I am. He smooths out my rough edges as I toss around in the ocean of labels and emotions. As I become smooth, I am embracing the truth of who I am. I am a saint. I am one with Christ. I am Christ in Melissa McLamb.

-Melissa

Ready to Be Wrong

The other day I was in a funk. I had been for a few days. The frustration and feelings of hopelessness were taking over. It was like a snow ball going downhill, growing and growing. Then, all of a sudden I was confronted by someone, and I didn’t like it.

Being ready to be wrong is not usually our first response.

While getting ready for work, my wife turned to me and said, “Do you mind if I tell you what I’m seeing?” I was surprised. My first instinct was to say, “Heck yeah I mind, if you are going to tell me how this is MY fault somehow!”. I felt justified in my feelings and my wallowing in the pity party. I felt right to act that way. However, I dug down deep and made a choice that I don’t always make. I was worn out from feeling frustrated and stuck. I was ready to be wrong.

We tend to value “being right”.

Being ready to be wrong (humility) is underrated in relationships. We tend to favor being right, especially when things get heated. This unwillingness to give up the fight to prove we are right causes a lot of relational damage. As “right-fighters”, we hurt each other and create distance between one another.

Our relationships thrive when we are ready to be wrong.

Bill Thrall once said, “Conflict never destroys relationships. Lack of Humility does that.” This is a transformational truth if we will let it be a reality in our lives. Conflict is not fun, but it is not our relational enemy. Lack of humility is the true enemy in our relationships. It destroys them.

Humility is scary, but freeing and healing.

When my wife asked me if she could tell me something she was seeing in me, it was scary. I wanted to hide my fear behind a wall of defensiveness and anger. I did not want to hear that I was doing something to keep myself stuck. It’s not pleasant to have a mirror held up in front of me when I have egg on my face. However, in this case, thankfully I let her tell me what she had been seeing in me. It was hard truth, but it was from a heart of love. She wanted to love me, and I let her. Humility lets us experience love.

I trusted her with myself in that moment. Not only that, I trusted myself with God as He worked through the words she spoke to me. The readiness to be wrong (humility) opened me up to experience an environment of love and grace. I experienced a freedom I could never have experienced if I had continued to declare my justification for being angry while rehashing everything that was not going my way.

-Neil

But why?

Don’t you just love it when you tell your child to do something and they say “But why?” Sometimes that is a question we just dread hearing. Sometimes, it is a question we eagerly ask. And sometimes, it is a question we avoid asking.

“But why?” can come from a place of manipulation or curiosity

I remember questioning my parents with the “but why” question after being told do something. I had probably been told multiple times! Usually I asked this question in an attempt to prove some point about why I should not have to do what they were asking of me. I am sure they dreaded that question and knew that I was using it to push their buttons! There are other times though that I have asked the question from a truly curious perspective. I like to understand the rationale behind why I am doing something. Asking why helps me fuller understand. Once I understand (not necessarily agree, but understand) the other person’s intent then I can more easily complete the task at hand.

Asking myself “why?” does not come natural

For me, it is much easier to ask “why?” to someone else than it is to ask myself. Sometimes I just do not want to admit and face my rationale or true intent. Ouch! For example, I recently did something that really hurt someone I care about. I became irritated, yelled, accused and placed all the blame on the other person. I did not want to ask myself why I reacted in that way. I did not want to even begin to face the hurt I had caused them. I am very blessed that the other person loved me enough to ask me “why?”. At first my answer was, “because you hurt my feelings.” He was very patient with me and eventually I started asking myself “why?”. I was embarrassed by my behavior and was ready to understand why I had responded the way I did. It was not comfortable to ask myself “why?”. I did not really want to admit that my response stemmed from unmet expectations. I was expecting him to do a certain thing. Now, I had never communicated my expectation but I surely communicated when it was not met!

I do not like to stop and ask myself “why?” I am eating again even though I am not hungry. It is not comfortable to admit, even to myself, that I am procrastinating with food. I do not like to ask myself why I am getting on the scale again today because I know the answer is that I am wanting to punish myself for being “bad” yesterday.

Asking ourselves “why?” is tough but brings freedom

It is no wonder why we would want to avoid asking ourselves the question. But, asking it is freeing. It is a conversation I can have with God and/or others that brings truth into light. Ephesians 5:13 says “But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible…” (ESV translation). Once I acknowledge what is really going on, the control it had over me dies. I become free from it’s tangled web of destruction.

Sometimes I am unable to quickly put my finger on the why and sometimes I just avoid asking. God lovingly and patiently waits with me. Others lovingly and patiently wait with me. God wants me to experience the freedom He has already given me. God does not intend for our actions to control us. Let’s ask why and experience His love and grace.

-Melissa

Take a Look at Yourself

This morning, I got ready for work and then went to where Melissa was to ask her a question. I was in a good mood. Well, I was trying to be. After getting a response, she asked me for my insight on another subject. She was struggling with a task she was working on. She wasn’t meeting her goals and wanted my input. I needed more information before giving feedback so I asked some clarifying questions. Part of her answer included the fact that she was “always tired”. My response was, “Whine, whine, whine”. You probably can guess that she was not impressed with my comment, to say the least.

The Aftermath…

In the proceeding conversation, we talked about what I meant and why I said what I said. First, I talked about me being impatient with her, but that just didn’t seem to get to the bottom of why I would be so insensitive. Then I focused on how I felt like she was frequently being negative in what she thought and said. Basically, I was subtly putting the blame on her. Another assessment was that it was just a misunderstanding. Nope, that didn’t seem to hit the mark either. We were searching for the heart issue that led me to disregard my wife’s feelings and struggle, and it finally it hit me.

The “A-ha! Moment” occurs.

I whine too! A lot! For a brief moment, as I was talking with her this morning, I actually wasn’t whining. Then I got angry when I thought she was! This was MY issue, not hers! Paul was right when he wrote, “Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things” (Romans 2:1, ESV). How could I look down on what I perceive as another person’s whine-fest, when I “practice the very same thing”?!

Why do we do this?

One reason I did this, and a possible reason we all do this, is because of the frustration of struggling with something I cannot seem to fix or control in myself. I don’t like that I whine about things. However, I catch myself doing it. I don’t like things that I whine about not changing. Anger sets in because I fail to let go of my expectations and continue to whine when they are not met. This anger brews to the point that when I sense my own type of behavior in others, the anger seeps out. It may come out as a snide, sarcastic comment, or in some other way. I often hurt somebody close to me in the process.

We must be willing to look at ourselves in the mirror.

It is so very important for us to look at ourselves when evidence presents itself that something is wrong. Temptations to blame others, deny a problem with ourselves, and to hide behind some form of angry behavior will be pressing on us. However, we can choose humility over those things and be honest with ourselves and trusted others around us (in my case this morning, it was the one I hurt…my wife). We need to remember that when we see something in someone else that provokes such an angry or, in some other way, hurtful response that it’s likely because of a personal, unresolved heart issue.

Our failures never change God’s love for us.

Because of His unchanging love for us, God wants to resolve these issues that cause us and our relationships such a problem. He knows that we are powerless to manage our wounds, so He is constantly working on our behalf. He desires that we be free to enjoy each other through giving and receiving love. To tap into His power over these things, the first big step is to practice humility. We must acknowledge that, even if someone else has done something hurtful, if we respond with hurtful words and/or actions then THAT reaction has something to do with us. Whether our heart issue is due to hurt (something someone else has done to us) or guilt (something we have done), God can help us sort it out in the presence of humility and set us free from the bondage we are in.

– Neil

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Knowing, Believing, Trusting

Do you ever feel like you study God’s word but it does not change anything? I do. Sometimes I even feel cheated. Other times I just beat myself up because I feel like I am obviously not studying enough or correctly. I am realizing that knowing things and experiencing things are different.

Jesus said “You have your heads in your Bible constantly because you think you’ll find eternal life there. But you miss the forest for the trees. These scriptures are all about me! And here I am, standing right before you, and you aren’t willing to receive from me the life you say you want.” (John 5:39-40 The Message Translation)

Knowing who God is and who I am because of Him is foundational. From that flows my thoughts, behaviors, and how I see others. When things are not quite right I can usually find some faulty belief that is driving things out of control. Most coaching I do with others focuses on this foundation as well. The Bible is a huge part of this process. Scripture tells us many truths about who God is and our identity. Knowing these truths leads to freedom. Scripture even tell us that truth sets us free. Jesus is that truth. At times though, I realize I stop with knowing truth. Sometimes I get stuck there. I am definitely not experiencing freedom when I am stuck.

I can focus and focus on truths told in scripture but still feel defeated. I can complain about how I know them but my life is not different. I am still just getting up, doing the same thing every day, going to bed and then getting up and repeating it all over. There are days that I do not even remember what I did. I put myself in auto pilot mode and “live” life. I pray and beg God to help me believe these truths I know. Lord, help me see things differently. I know there is more to life than what I am experiencing. Scripture tell me so. However, it does not seem true. I tell myself that if I just continue studying and trying to make myself believe, things will change. In the meantime, I just feel defeated.

The scriptures are important. They do give me truths. They give me facts. They tell stories from long ago that paint a picture of God for me. Sometimes I get so hung up in knowing all the details of the picture that I fail to actually see the picture. I fail to enjoy the picture. I am in the forest checking off one tree at a time thinking that once they are all checked it will click and come together. Just like laundry, the trees are never ending. If I wait until I get them all checked off to look at the forest I will never see the forest.

I have turned my relationship with Jesus into a task. I can not see His beauty played out in my life while focusing so hard on trying to learn how I am supposed to see Him. This is true with any relationship. When I just know truths (or try to know them at least) and do not see them played out then I am going to continue to complain. Nothing is going to feel different.

How I approach God looks different when it is based on knowing a truth verses believing and experiencing a truth. Romans 8 tells me that I am free from condemnation and that I cannot be separated from the love of God. I can approach Jesus only knowing this truth and still be scared. Usually that prayer is full of begging for forgiveness, promising not to do it again and begging for Jesus to help me. When I step outside of knowledge and approach Him based on trusting Him then I am able to approach Him ready to receive the gift of forgiveness He has already given me. I am not scared that He will never forgive me unless I say a specific prayer. I am able to talk with Him about what is really going on inside of me that caused me to sin in the first place. I am not even focused on the actual sin itself because I am focused on His love for me and His loving, listening ear. I am letting Him hande the sin! I am able to experience the forest of His love. I will flip flop between both trusting only in the knowledge of Christ and trusting in Christ. He will continue to love on me and be patient with me when I flounder.

-Melissa

Imitating God

It is a fact that children learn a great deal of important things from their parents. We imitate them, or strive not to imitate them, depending on our experience growing up. Either way, we are strongly affected by what we see our mothers and fathers do and not do. The way a parent handles their child’s heart is arguably the greatest influence in the development of that person’s perspective on life and relationships, behaviors, and fears.

In Ephesians 5, Paul started off using this depiction of a parent-child relationship as an example that we can connect with. He wanted the readers to embrace their role as children of God so that we could be open to learning from Him. However, right there in the first verse we can get off track quickly if we miss some key truths.

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (Ephesians 5:1-2, ESV)

God is different than our earthly fathers and mothers.

While there is no doubt that many parents display the image of God in wondrous ways, no one is perfect. Therefore, all parents fail and send messages to their children that distort the true image of our Father in heaven. These failures can lead to false beliefs that cause us to view things from a marred perspective. For instance, a child whose father was not present may tend to view God as being distant, uninvolved, and uncaring. The reason for such a view of Him is that a child in that circumstance has had painful experiences in life with a key relationship that typically sets a primary example in understanding what other relationships are supposed to be like. This leaves the child lacking in experiences to see God in any way other than in the image of the father they experienced as a child: one who was absent. It also sends a message regarding how that child should view himself or herself. There’s a wound inflicted that says something to the effect of “you are not worth my time and attention”.

It is important to read passages in the Bible with an open mind.

Reading a passage such as Ephesians 5:1-2 may spark some concern for those of us who struggle with our image of God. This concern is even more pronounced for those of us who have not yet realized the false image we have of Him due to past hurt and lies we have been told. Therefore, it is amazingly helpful to go into it with an open mind, willing to allow God to reveal the truth about who He is. It will be helpful to share our thoughts on this with trusted others who can be a way for Him to speak to us and offer new experiences to replace our old, wound-filled perspectives on Him and what we see when we gaze into a mirror.

Thankfully, Paul does not leave us in a position where we must rely strictly on our past to determine what to look for in our God as we dabble with the reality of “being His child”. In Verse 2, he mentions “walk(ing) in love, as Christ loved us”. This phrase points to an all-important image of God. God loves us. He is the perfect parent that loves us unconditionally. He is consistent in His love, never having an “off day” and swaying from it. All of his actions regarding us are motivated by His love for us.

I love how “The Message” translations says it:

Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.

Love, love, love. It’s all about His love.

The result of us embracing this amazing love that He has for us is indicated when Paul says “And walk in love” in the ESV translation. He does not mean for us to strive hard to love when our own “love tank” is empty. Walking in love means living a life of being loved! Walking in His love, we get filled to the brim with it. Then, we get to offer it to others around us, and it’s not a chore. He created us in a way that we thrive on being loved and loving each other. It’s a huge part of who we are as His children. The Message translation above actually holds off to the end to make the point that we shouldn’t try to start out with loving others without first embracing the love He is offering us (notice the “love like that” statement at the end).

Live a life of being loved first, then loving others.

So, let’s spend time embracing who we are. Ephesians 5:1 says to imitate God…as beloved children. It doesn’t say do your best to be like God. We just don’t have it in us to do that! What we CAN do, however, is embrace His love for us and let Him work in and through us. Realizing the need for something outside of us to save us, just a little bit of humility brings us to our knees before Christ. By His grace we are saved through that faith in Him. Our identity is founded in Jesus. He is in us and we are in Him. We are God’s children. Imitating Him begins with embracing His love for us. We will not walk perfectly in it, but a little bit goes a long way. As much as we can, let’s surrender ourselves over to Him and let Him love us. Let’s make “being loved” our primary focus. When we don’t feel it, it doesn’t mean He is failing to love us. There’s times in this difficult life that we just do not experience the reality of Him loving us. He loves us often when we are failing to receive it. It’s okay. He doesn’t give up on us. He keeps pursuing us and wooing us into receiving His love. Let’s pray that we can see how He is loving us right here, right now. It may be in a way that you will not receive it unless you surrender your idea of what it should look like.

-Neil

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I am Like a Mockingbird

I have been really enjoying the red and blue birds that visit our backyard every day. They like to perch on the trampoline, fly around the yard and rest in the trees that line our property. Their vibrant red and blue color pops amongst the green foliage on the trees. They stand out. They display beauty just by being them. They are a beautiful part of nature’s story even though they do not blend in.

Sometimes a mockingbird is more attractive.

There is one bird that does things a little differently. The mockingbird mimics other birds’ songs and sounds. Sometimes I am more comfortable relating to the mockingbird. A singer/songwriter I love to listen to, Derek Webb, wrote a song entitled Mockingbird (check it out here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewoMYUtcJMI) . The chorus says this:

“And I’m like a mockingbird.

I’ve got no new song to sing.

And I’m like an amplifier.

I just tell you what I’ve heard.

Oh, I’m like a mockingbird.”

We think we have to be just like others.

There are a few different reasons that I connect to the mockingbird. Sometimes I just want others to like me! How better to achieve this than to try and be like them. I need to agree with them, like the same music, and be on the same bandwagon they are on. I forget who I am and just copy their song. Nothing makes me madder than when I realize I’m doing that! Usually I start to dread being with that person I am trying to win over. It takes a lot of work to try and sing someone else’s song. They don’t get to know the real me, therefore the relationship stays surface.

Sometimes I prefer you to just tell me the answers.

There are other times that I just get tired of questioning things. I am exhausted from all the effort I have put into trying to figure things out on my own. It becomes easier to just “tell you what I’ve heard like a mockingbird”. We see this everyday as we watch the news and then tell that same news as if we experienced it first-hand ourselves. Unfortunately, we also see this in religious settings. We hear a preacher tell us who God is and then we just repeat these words and develop an image of Him based on what we have heard. There is no questioning things or even trying to understand things. We just believe what we hear and see, repeat it, and move on.

We cling to rules to find the solution to our problems.

Another part of Derek Webb’s song says:

“And I’ll do all I can

To be a better man

Oh I’ll clean up this act

And be worse than when we started.

And I am like a mockingbird….”

How many times have we clung to another’s words thinking that was going to be the solution to our problems? If I can just “clean up my act” and be like that person over there then I’ll “be a better man.” I catch myself developing a list of rules that will modify my behavior. We let these rules control our diets, exercise, bible study, prayer, etc. To lose weight I can only eat certain foods and I must exercise for 30 minutes 5 times weekly. To become a better Christian I must read my bible for 30 minutes daily and pray for at least 15 minutes. This makes me laugh just to say it but this stuff does control our daily lives! Normally it is in my failure to keep these rules and lack of change in my life that I am able to see that “cleaning up my act” doesn’t work. Nothing in my heart has changed or even been acknowledged. I am worse now than when I started trying because now I can just add failure to my list of problems.

Grace changes everything.

God knows I do these things and that I will do them over and over again. He graciously keeps reminding me that I am loved just as I am. I do not always embrace it or believe it, especially when I’m being a mockingbird, but He continues to gently whisper truth to me. There are times, though, when I do embrace it and it is so freeing. My relationships change and grow deeper. I am able to let someone love me and that changes everything.

Are there ways that you relate to the mockingbird? Leave a comment below and we can talk more about it.

-Melissa

What Is God Doing?

What is God doing in my life?

This is a question that I think we fail to ask ourselves enough. It is a simple inquiry, but if explored in depth and consistently, this question can ground us. It can provide hope. It can alleviate fears and anxiety. It can offer a sense of belonging and being loved by a God that is, in fact, very involved in our day-to-day lives.

I met a man when I first began serving others as a Christian counselor. I trained under him quite a bit. I remember he would ask this question frequently in counseling sessions, as I trained under him. “So, what is God doing in your life?!”, he would ask them. I picked up this question and, as I began seeing my own clients, I offered it to them as well. Some would immediately say, “Nothing”. Others would stop and think, but have a hard time deciding what in the world He WAS doing. A few would come up with words that sounded good but were generalizations that could apply to anyone. For instance, “God is watching over me.” There’s nothing personal about that kind of generic involvement!

What if He is ALWAYS up to something in our lives? What if He is constantly active in and around us, never stopping to take a break from us even when we’ve strayed far away from anything resembling fruit of the spirit?

God is relational.

According to Bill Thrall, “Grace is an environment we get to live in”. As a child of God, I am under grace, not law. He’s not just telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. He is very relational. My Father lavishes grace and love on me constantly. Being under grace means God is always up to something. He is massively involved in my life. It is because of desire that He does this, not obligation. I go to my day job out of obligation, so I quit working and go home as soon as I’ve met the obligatory hours. I am not “a job” to God. He is all about relationship. At any given point His involvement in my life may include listening, speaking, guiding, comforting, protecting, teaching, or anxiously and patiently waiting for me to surrender my own efforts to control my life.

God is motivated by love.

If I make myself truly embrace the truth that the aforementioned depiction of God is accurate and then ponder and possibly discuss with others “What is He doing in my life?”, the sometimes slow unraveling of the answer will present to me an unfolding reality that I desperately need to see and experience. If He is involved, then He is involved because He loves us. We are loved by Him, and we need that love to be real to us. Love does many things in our hearts, minds, and relationships, including the casting out of fears (1 John 4:18) and the covering of a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).

God is intimately involved with us.

Being able to see that He is, indeed, involved in our lives may not give us all the answers we would like, but it can give us confidence, security, and direction. Perhaps the question leads us to see that He has things in His hands and is waiting for us to burn out our bondage- and anxiety-producing self-effort, so we can release things to Him and rest. Maybe through the question we discern that He is rooting for us to make a decision and trust Him with the outcome, so we are able to forsake the paralysis of analysis where we overanalyze our options to the point that we are stuck.

So, what is God doing in your life?

Perhaps the thought of the question produces anxiety for us. For some of us, it feels like just another thing to try to figure out. For others, we are scared to find out what He may be doing and what it may require of us. If “the question” produces fear, it is likely that we are failing to see Him for who He truly is. We may need to be reminded of some basic truths, such as the following:

He is personable, intimate, and involved (Psalm 139:1-18).
He is kind and compassionate. He is not “out to get us” or always looking to teach us a hard lesson (Psalm 103:8-14).
He accepts us and is filled with joy and love (Romans 15:7; Zephaniah 3:17).
He is warm and affectionate. He is not cold and distant like some of our earthly fathers have been. (Isaiah 40:11; Hosea 11:3-4).
He is pleased with me and wants to spend time with me (Hebrews 13:5; Jeremiah 31:20; Ezekiel 34:11-16).
He is patient and slow to anger (Exodus 34:6; 2 Peter 3:9).
He is loving, gentle, and protective of me (Jeremiah 31:3, Isaiah 42:3; Psalm 18:2).
He is trustworthy and wants to give me a full life. His will is good, perfect, and acceptable (Lamentations 3:22-23; John 10:10; Romans 12:1-2).
He is full of grace and mercy, and gives me freedom to fail. Failure never drives Him away from us. He just holds us even tighter in his unconditional love (Hebrew 4:15-16; Luke 15:11-16).
He is tenderhearted and forgiving. His heart and arms are always open to me (Psalm 130:1-4; Luke 15:17-24).
He is smiling when He thinks of me. He is proud of me. He calls me His child. (Romans 8:28-29; Hebrews 12:5-11; 2 Corinthians 7:4).

I realized years ago that the bulk of the anxiety I was experiencing at the time was from the fact that I didn’t believe God was doing anything in my life. With this false perception, I felt left to fend for myself. I had to do all the work and keep everything under control! If you would have asked me if I thought God was present, I would have known to tell you the correct answer. “Yes! Of course He is. He always is present.” However, my actions and emotional state revealed that deep in my heart, I did not embrace the truth of a Father who was immersed in my life, loving me, and relating to me in every way possible. If I had been trusting that God was actually doing something, I wouldn’t have felt the pressure to do it all myself!

So, in closing out this little thought process, I encourage you to take a long look at this question. Carry it with you for a while. Revisit it often. He is ALWAYS present and ALWAYS involved. He is ALWAYS doing something in your life. However, if we fail to make that a reality, we will act as if He isn’t!