Category: Devotionals

Trust comes easier for some than others. I am one who is slow to trust. It is such a risk to trust, I often put the sole burden on others to prove themselves trustworthy first. While this proves to protect me in some ways, in other ways it prevents me from cultivating relationships with others. My son tends to trust first, ask questions later. He would rather risk getting hurt than to miss out on an opportunity to make a new friend. While this certainly leads to hurt at times, he has virtually no roadblock in making connections and enjoying others.

People will fail us, time and time again.

Some of us have been so jaded in life that we have decided it is better to be guarded. We have experienced what it feels like to let another person catch a glimpse of who we really are, only to be used, criticized, or rejected. We, consequently, have up walls to protect ourselves. I often catch myself assuming the intentions of others are not good. I think they must have ulterior motives if they are nice to me. The fact is, this is not true all the time. However, we do often fail each other. To avoid this we would have to avoid relationships altogether, which would leave us unfulfilled.

Trust is a gift.

Being worthy of trust means never letting someone down, always following through on promises, and having perfect motives all the time. None of us are capable of that! Even on our best “loving day”, we mess up. Therefore, all trust that is given to others is a gift we choose to give. Trust in others always comes with a risk. Our gift may be misused or misplaced. However, it can also bring joy to both the giver and the one receiving.

There is only one thing that consistently builds trust.

In examining the deepest and most precious relationships in my life, I have found a common thread in what compels me to trust. Only one thing can overcome a thousand letdowns and give me the courage and desire to trust someone. Love. When I realize that I am loved by someone, my assumption is not that they have an ulterior motive. I begin to assume that they have my best interest at heart when they listen and speak to me. I assume that they value me as they sacrifice time to spend with me. Even if they have a bad day and say something mean, I have the patience and confidence to see past it and know not to take it personal. I know there is love present behind their imperfections.

Being loved begins with being real.

Authenticity requires us to be vulnerable. It requires courage. It requires us to take off our masks and be real, at the risk of being hurt. One beautiful thing about it is, it opens us up to experience all the joys that relationships have to offer. We can only love and be loved in the context of a relationship in which we are openly being ourselves. Otherwise, the best people can do is love the mask we are wearing at the time.

There is one worthy of our trust.

So where can we dig up the courage to be real with others? Love is crucial, but everyone does not love me. If I wait for love from others before I choose to be real, I sometimes find myself waiting a long time. Honestly, I need something outside of myself and others to convince me it is okay to be authentic.

Since our Heavenly Father makes the incredible promise to love us unconditionally, we actually have access to the love we desperately need. This is something He does by Grace, so we can be real with Him. Christ made this clear in everything He said and did when He spent some time here on earth. I can know the love God has for me by looking at Christ. I can receive that love, which leads to trusting Him. I then engage an awesome cycle of experiencing that love more and more. 1 John 4:8 actually states that God IS love. He is the source of love that gives me what I need to take off my masks with others and be who He created me to be (myself!), even when others do not love me and deserve anything but trust. God desires this freedom for me. It’s a major goal of His. No ulterior motives.

In our society, printed pieces of paper and small pieces of metal represent something important to us. They are representative of our hard work. The majority of us value work ethic. Even our greetings hint at this. I bet I have heard this phrase thousands of times in my life when greeted by someone: “Hey, you working hard, or hardly working?!” Perhaps this is a phrase restricted to the South, or maybe just to Sampson County, NC. However, I am sure other regions have their own versions of sayings like that.

We not only value hard work, we value ourselves by how hard we work.

It is good to value hard work. Money is an important part of society that is an inescapable part of that process. We need to provide for ourselves and our families, and that requires hard work. When we do not value hard work, we eventually find ourselves in the pit of despair. We were not created to be idle, and we are never satisfied when we are. However, the real problem occurs when we find our own value in our work. Once we have slipped into that mentality, we can never work hard enough to feel good enough about ourselves. There’s always something left undone or done incorrectly. This is not restricted to our paying jobs. It may also apply, for some of us, to the work we do at home or even at church. When our value is dependent upon our performance, those things become a source of anxiety, depression, and severe frustration.

There are many different kinds of money.

In 1 Timothy 6:10 (ESV), Paul states the following popular words to Timothy:

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

This passage, and the surrounding Scripture in that chapter of Timothy, definitely points to issues we must watch out for regarding the pursuit of wealth. The love of money indicates a desire to earn something. Paul explicitly states this is the root of all kinds of evil. Literal money is not the only thing we pursue and try to earn. In some situations, the currency we love and pursue is acceptance from others. Other times, it is recognition in front of others for our work. Sometimes, it is seemingly good things like volunteering at church in an effort to “do the right thing” or “make God happy”.

Some things were never meant to be earned. 

In Romans 4:4-5 (ESV), Paul says the following:

Now to the one who works, his wages are not counted as a gift but as his due. And to the one who does not work but believes in him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted as righteousness…

Paul is stressing to the readers of this letter that a relationship with God is not earned. It is a free gift from God. The way to receive this gift is to accept it by faith. In other words, trust Him. However, there is something that can get in our way of receiving and experiencing Him: the love of money, or as Paul puts it here…trying to earn our way into and through our relationship with Him. When we try to earn what was meant to be a gift, we fail to accept it as a gift. We treat it like money to be earned. That goes for any gifts of the relationship He has with us. When we attempt to earn His love, acceptance, and all the other gifts He freely offers, we fail to receive His Grace. Christ was the perfect image of God and His Grace. Living in His Grace is the only way to experience the freedom and joy promised through Christ.

An undeserved gift raises our personal value more than anything we could earn.

Think about how you feel when you earn a dollar versus how you feel when someone surprises you with a gift. When we accept His love as a gift, our value is dependent on Him instead of what we think we deserve. If anyone tells you faith is easy, do not believe them. This is a perfect example. It is very difficult for us to surrender our desire to earn something. It seems to be an inborn trait. However, the reward for letting go of this, even in small ways at first, is overwhelming and better than anything we could ever earn.

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. (1 John 3-4, ESV)

When I think of the beach, I think of scenes like the picture I have included with this blog post. I think most people prefer a room with a view of the beach rather than the parking lot or the dumpsters. Likewise, when I actually go out on to the beach, I like to have a good view of the water. I think very few people, if any, prefer to set their chairs and towels up on the beach facing away from the water.

Without sand and water, the beach really is not the beach at all.

If all I knew of the beach was the dumpster view of one of the rooms, I most likely would not care much about going. This is the same with anything in life. My view of something determines my interactions with it. If I think the beach is boring and trashy, I will not want to go to the beach.

How I view others determines how I treat them.

This beach view example applies to people as well. How I view others determines how I interact with them. If I believe children are generally undisciplined and a nuisance, I will not want to be around them. I may get angry if required to be around them. If I view people who are different than me as threatening, I will fear them. This would lead to avoidance and potentially even violence in some cases. If I view my wife as someone who is supposed to make me happy, there will be many times that I am angry with her for not accomplishing what I believe to be her sole reason for existing.

My view of God determines everything I do and feel.

Like the dumpster view from the hotel room at the beach, if I only have images of my Heavenly Father that stink, I will have no desire to go to Him. And it is so easy to accumulate false images of Him as we are bombarded with difficult struggles throughout our lives. We tend to apply all the negatives to His name. We often fail to turn our beach chair around and face the beautiful truth of who He really is.

We are loved even when we do not feel lovable.

The personal view we choose to take matters. To say it another way, our perspective matters. When there is a change in how I view others, my actions towards them changes. But where our views can change, God’s does not. He is Who He is. His love for us does not change, even if our perspective on how lovable we are does. Whether we choose to abide in that love determines whether we enjoy the benefits of that unconditional love He has for us. Living in His Grace flies against everything in us. We want to earn love and acceptance, so we measure how much we are loved by how good we perform. We also measure it by how we feel at the time. Since I can plainly see that my performance is poor much of the time, the emotions of guilt and fear follow suit, which leads to a cycle centered on the perceived absence of His love…even though it is there! As I make a decision to open myself up to what the beach is REALLY all about and turn my beach chair around, I begin to experience the reality of how much I love it. Likewise, as I call into question and surrender my false views of myself, others, and especially God, I am able to embrace the reality of grace, love, and joy I have been missing.

After listening to a very cool discussion this morning, I have been pondering a difficult struggle that I have had, off and on, for many years. Prayer, in many ways, has been a profound mystery to me. In a way, I believe this has been good to wrestle with. I am usually in much worse shape whenever I believe I have something figured out. The struggle I have had with talking intimately with God has forced me to dive deeper into how I communicate with Him and what He is saying to me.

Prayer can easily become “just a list”.

Prayer so easily becomes an obligation, like a blessing before a meal or one of the structured public prayers during a worship service. Prayer can also become just something we do when we need something. Trusting two or three friends with our prayers can help avoid this. In a larger group, it is merely impossible to deeply engage what is on the heart of each person. Among two or three trusted friends, conversation can take place. This conversation is more likely to spur true conversation with God about our heart’s desires. Essentially, it becomes less about “will you do this for me God?” and more about “God, what are you doing in this?”.

Trusting God for a deserved outcome is not the same thing as trusting God.

I have found myself, many times in my life, saying “I am trusting God for it”. “It” is an outcome that I would have liked. “It” may have been getting a job I wanted, getting a grade I wanted in school, getting me somewhere safely, or a person I cared about being healed. It is easy to become more focused on what I want than on trusting the One I am praying to. When I “trust God FOR something”, I am not truly trusting Him. My attention is more focused on getting a desired outcome than trusting Him no matter what the outcome is. At times like that, I have noticed the tendency to repeat the prayer as many times as possible. I will also get others to pray for the same thing. The truth is, God is not keeping score with our prayers. The number of them is not the point. When we are concerned about the quantity of our prayers, we are likely trusting more in the outcome than the One we are praying to. God can hear and respond to one heart-felt prayer just as much as He can ten-thousand of them.

Prayer is not pointless.

Prayer does provoke change. However, there have been many points in my life where I have believed it to be pointless. “God will do whatever His Will is anyway!”, I would think to myself. There have been two reasons for this way of thinking. One, there have been times that I was frustrated with God for not doing what I wanted Him to do. Two, there have been times that, in an effort to try to give up what I wanted and “settle” for His plan, I ceased to see the point in praying at all. I might think, “Why pray if I need to let go of asking Him for what I want?” The same problem is present in both cases. In viewing prayer simply as a means to ask God for things, I wind up 1) angry or 2) in a state of passivity as I try to accept whatever fate He chooses to dish out. At times like this, I have lost sight of what prayer truly is. Prayer is so much more than asking God for things, thanking Him for stuff, or fulfilling the obligation of a blessing before a meal.

Prayer is all about relationship.

Prayer is ongoing. Prayer fluctuates and changes for us as we grow in our relationship with God. Prayer often changes more in us than it does things outside of us. Sometimes we beg. Sometimes we yell in anger. Sometimes we stop praying because we falsely assume it is unnecessary. The most awesome, peaceful, rewarding times of prayer, for me, have been when my attitude has been something like this: “God, whatever it is that you do is good. I trust that. I want to be a part of it”. At those times, prayer becomes more about listening. I desire the truth more than what I want in the moment. I desire HIM to a greater degree. Sometimes what I want and His Will are one in the same. Many times, they turn out to be very different. Regardless, there is a peace when I allow Him to take the lead in the dance.

Christmas is a time of year that most of us view as a time for excitement, happiness, and peace. Of course, it is a time we can meditate on the birth of Christ and all that it means. For many of us, it is also time of high expectations. It is very difficult to avoid the unrealistic images all around us, and even in our own minds, of what this time of year should look like.

Big expectations can lead to big let-downs.

High expectations can get us into trouble. When we set goals in our lives that are impossible to attain, we wind up disappointed. During the Holiday Season, most of us are prone to set goals for enjoyable time with family and friends, smiles on everyone’s faces, and other satisfying experiences. The likelihood of our overly optimistic hopes and dreams being fulfilled is low, if not impossible. When we expect them to pan out as we plan, and they do not, we become anxious, angry, or even depressed. And for some of us (like those of us who have experienced tremendous loss), the idea of an emotionally rewarding time during any holiday seems like a cruel joke. By the time New Year’s has rolled on by, some of us are feeling the full weight of the unmet expectations of Christmas, while the rest of us are just glad that time of year is over!

Expectations are often invisible to us.

Many times, we do not even notice that we have expectations. This leads to the aftermath of them sneaking up on us. If we are looking for evidence that we have set expectations, the fact that we are disappointed at times proves that we have them. We cannot be disappointed if we had no expectations to begin with. Acknowledging that we have them, even when we do not see them, is a good start towards adjusting them if necessary.

Expectations are not always a bad thing.

It may appear that I am beating up on the idea of having any expectations, so let me step back and say that some expectations are healthy. The key is to set goals that are reasonable and attainable. Goals like that are helpful and motivational. A very helpful step we can take in this process is to look out for expectations that require someone or something else to do something before my goal can be met. If we rely on people and things that are out of our control, we are setting ourselves up for potential failure. For instance, if I rely on others to do something to make me happy, there is always the chance that, no matter what I do, others will not comply with what I want. Essentially, in those cases, I have set goals that are beyond my ability to work towards and accomplish.

Make a resolution for a step of faith towards healthy expectations and freedom. 

As the New Year is upon us, we all hear of the resolutions many people are making. Admittedly, I cannot remember ever making a New Year’s Resolution. They annoy me, quite frankly. I guess my uncanny ability to make unrealistic goals and expectations has left me cynical to the idea. But today, I am going to suggest something not only to those reading this, but to myself as well. It is to make a resolution to take a step of faith. In my case, this step will be towards letting go of unhealthy expectations as I detect them in my life. The temptation will be to hold onto them, or to “adjust them”, hopelessly aiming at moving targets that never satisfy me. Letting go of them will be like letting go of a security blanket because I have relied on them to have a sense of control. But in reality, when I choose to let them go, it is more like cutting off heavy chains.

This resolution is ultimately a reminder to rely on the One who truly has the power to meet my needs. Letting go of unrealistic expectations is an act of surrendering my efforts to meet my own needs and wants, and trusting Him to provide in fulfilling ways that I could not have planned out myself. This step may lead to new traditions, new ideas, new friendships, and new paths that I desperately need and would not have found otherwise.

In my role as a counselor, I share a lot about myself. For the counseling office to be a safe place to open up and deal with difficult issues, it is important for it NOT to be a one-way street in which I get to know the client, but the client does not get to know me. I find that God is doing work in everyone involved in the counseling relationship, and that includes me. He works in and through the sharing of personal experiences from both sides of the room.

It is a relief to find out others do not have it all together.

Many of us work hard every day to look like everything is okay. We do not want others to catch a glimpse of anything that might suggest we are NOT okay. I have found that many of my clients are surprised by the fact that I have issues. This tells me that I must often display to others that I have it together when I really do not. It is a sobering moment for me when I see that shocked look on a person’s face as I share one of my personal struggles. Frequently, after some time of getting to know me, others tell me they were shocked when I opened up. However, they were also relieved.

Trying hard to look like Jesus does not work for me.

We tend to believe that it is better for others to believe we are okay. The standard response to “How are you?” is always something like “I’m okay” or “Just fine”. As Christians, we often think we must look as much like Jesus as possible, so we strive hard to look okay. However, this type of approach always comes up short. We wind up faking it more than actually living it. Although a positive outlook and encouragement are important, faking those things is detrimental. It presents a false perception of things. It actually discourages not only others, but ourselves as well. We wind up constantly comparing ourselves to the illusion we have created and are trying to sell to others.

When I allow myself to look like I need Jesus, I become more like Him.

Following Jesus is an awesome, but difficult, journey. Often, I have found myself striving hard to look like Him. It is exhausting, and I fail miserably every single time. I feel guilty and want to just give up. Perhaps the best approach is not just trying to constantly be like Him, which leads to me measuring my worth by how well I perform. Jesus never hid the fact that He needed His relationship with God. He depended on Him fully, trusting Him constantly. Maybe it should not be quite so different for us. Instead of working hard in my own strength to have it all together and be like Jesus, it is more about living in the freedom of knowing I need Him and not trying to hide it. This beautiful example of surrendering to God is a good foundation for living in His Grace, trusting Him to work in and through me, and finding true peace. Admitting I’m not okay is a tremendous step of faith. And the unbelievable surprise is, when I let go of self-effort to be like Him and trust Him to do His work in me, I begin to see evidence of being more like Him.

In the medical world, there seems to be two vastly different approaches to treating patients (if there are more I have missed, please forgive me). One is focused on simply making the patient feel better as quickly as possible. This approach targets the symptoms that are bothering the patient and attempts to alleviate them. The other approach also focuses on making the patient better. However, the target of this approach is identifying and treating the underlying cause of the symptoms of which the patient is complaining. In our day-to-day lives, we are faced with many personal and relational struggles. We can choose either one of these two approaches in how we deal with those issues.

We typically want a quick-fix to any problem we are struggling with.

I do not know of anyone who honestly wants to take a difficult path when an easier one is also an option. When faced with pain, suffering, loss, a difficult decision, rejection, or unfair circumstances, we’d much rather press the “Easy Button” that was seen on commercials a while ago than to sort through all that’s involved. To allude to the medical example presented previously, when I am in pain, I’d much rather rely on the pain meds than to go through exploratory surgery that most likely would lead to months of recovery.

Band-Aids come in all shapes and sizes.

The quick fixes, or “Band-Aids”, we use in life struggles are numerous. They seemingly take care of the immediate symptoms that bug us. They temporarily cover up the wounds we have. Here are just some of my favorites:

1) Avoid the issue with others. Change the subject in conversation. Get angry at someone who brings it up and pull away. Surround yourself with people who have no clue what is really going on. Basically do whatever it takes to avoid the existence of a problem.

2) Numb yourself. Drink too much. Eat too much. Shut down emotionally in any way possible. In others words, find a way to dull any sense of pain, guilt, or other negative emotions associated with the problem.

3) Busy myself with many things. This one is exhausting, but effective enough in the short run to be tempting. By doing a lot of “stuff”, the problem is pushed into a corner somewhere.

4) Run away. This one may seem a bit extreme. However, it can become a seemingly viable option when the problem becomes more and more difficult to avoid. Running away may be moving to a new location, quitting a job, leaving a spouse, or a host of other ways to put physical distance between ourselves and anything that threatens to force the issue.

Snatching a Band-Aid off hurts!

We have all had to wear a Band-Aid at some point, so we all know that it stings to pull it off. With the Band-Aids (quick fixes) we use for life struggles, it is no different. When we choose to quit avoiding the issue and face it, it often hurts. It requires a lot out of us to toss aside the coping mechanisms such as numbing ourselves and busyness. However, it is the only way to quit targeting the symptoms and begin targeting the underlying cause, which will most likely NOT be a quick fix.

Choosing to remove a Band-Aid is a step of faith.

Facing issues we have purposely been avoiding will be a challenge. Obviously, there are reasons we have been avoiding them. For one, fear is always involved. If it were easy, we would have already done it. Regardless of the issue, there is always a common thread. Surrender. We must surrender control when choosing to stand firm instead of running away, committing to do what it takes to remove the things we numb ourselves with, choosing to be still instead of continuing to be busy, and facing people that may say things we do not want to hear. Surrendering control and trusting God go hand in hand. Giving up our Band-Aids is like targeting or opening up a wound and saying, “Okay Father. I give up.  No more covering this mess up.  Take over here. Do what you need to do to heal me…really heal me”.

I am not a talented singer or musician, but I love listening to music. I remember my love of music beginning sometime during middle school. That’s when I began accumulating cassette tapes and then CD’s of my own (insert old person joke here). I found that I enjoyed how I could escape in it. Sometimes I would truly connect with the lyrics, which became more and more important to me over time.

We all need to identify our own personal “prayer closets”.

“Prayer closets” got their name, I assume, from the idea of using a closet to get away from others, close yourself off, and intimately communicate with God. Of course, we do not have to rely solely on closet space for this, although there is certainly nothing wrong with that. It’s important for us to be on the lookout for our own unique ways of opening ourselves up to communicating with our Heavenly Father. Jesus used the wilderness as a prayer closet. Paul was limited to using a prison cell for one at times, which proves we can find one just about anywhere. For me, music is often a prayer closet. It was serving as one long before I really realized it, to be honest. It just seems natural, as if God gave me a built in mechanism to quiet the storm around me with music. I can actually get still and focused enough to engage Him and even listen to Him, which is one main component of any prayer closet.

Getting still is not an easy thing to do.

“Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10, ESV). This frequently quoted verse specifically tells us one of the keys to getting to know God on a deeper level. We have to get still. Easier said than done! We are bombarded each and every second of every day with things that keep us active. Even if it is not physical activity, our minds are constantly occupied with smart phones, television, and a host of other things that spur busyness and thwart relationship. Identifying our own personal prayer closets is one way to help us get still. Having a “go-to” way of forcing a shut down is almost a must! And the cool thing is, God has built in ways for us to do this. Music may work great for me, while a book, a car ride, some coffee on the porch, or even just staring at a blank wall works great for others.

Relationships require us to be still.

In a lot of ways, our relationship with God is no different than our relationships with others. To engage someone and get to know them, I cannot be preoccupied with something else. I have to shut down everything else to make someone else a priority. I have to make a choice to lay down my life (which often means laying down all the other things I have going on) and focus on listening to them, communicating with them…basically, getting to KNOW them. It’s not just “Be still, and get to know God”. It’s also, “Be still, and get to know others”.

Being still is far from being passive and lazy, it actually requires a great deal of faith.

Whether we surrender something in order to be still in a prayer closet and talk with God or to be still at the supper table and talk with our families, it requires something out of us. This “stillness” is not laziness or irresponsibly putting off important things that need to be done. This is an act of faith. It is an act that requires us to trust God with the things we put aside in order to engage in relationships with Him and others. These relationships are far more important than those other things that can absorb most of our time and energy. God values relationship. His actions over the course of time have proven that fact. Our relationship with Him is the center piece for everything else that’s good in our lives. In similar fashion, whether we have a large or small circle of intimate relationships with others, those relationships are the best foundation for everything else we engage in. It’s worth the time to be still and engage them.

When it comes to relationships, we often engage in a “push-pull game” with each other that keeps us from experiencing the intimacy we want. The “push” part of the game is performed by some of us who tend to work harder to make it work, exhausting ourselves with the frustrating work involved. Then there are those of us that pull away…

Avoiding closeness may make us feel safer, but it’s far from it.

Typically out of fear, we pull away when we first devise a goal to avoid the possibility of rejection and hurt. This approach typically includes behaviors like “the silent treatment”, avoiding interaction, putting most of our time into something else, pity parties, and even subtle things like sarcasm that keeps people at a distance . There is a problem with the goal of avoidance. To avoid all negatives in a relationship, we also cut out the thing that produces all the positives. To receive acceptance and love as spouses, friends, and family members, we must risk opening ourselves up and pursuing a relationship.

Is coming out of our shell worth the risk?

We must answer a viable question if we are to push forward instead of continuing to pull away. Is it really worth the risk? For those of us who have experienced seemingly endless bouts of rejection, it just feels like the answer is “no”. Fear of being rejected, yet again, is screaming at us, “Don’t let this happen again! It’s not worth it!”. We know what it feels like and we do not want to go there again. Could it possibly be worth it to potentially have to work through another wound?

Our desire screams that the pursuit of intimacy is worth it.

We all have an inborn desire for meaningful relationships. Some of us have pulled away so long that we may have lost sight of it. It may feel like we just do not like or need people, and we hate the possibility of rejection so much that even loneliness feels like it will be more rewarding. However, no matter how deep we may have buried it, it is still there, whispering to us that we are missing something important. Yes, even us introverts need relationships. We may not be social butterflies (or the more masculine moths, as one of my good friends suggested once), but we certainly crave to love and be loved. It’s a need we will not escape.

Jesus believed in relationships.

Jesus was all about relationships. He pursued them from the earliest stories that have been told about Him. He valued close friendships with His core group. Although He knew the importance of taking time away to rest and rejuvenate, He never stayed away. Once revitalized, He would jump right back into creating and building relationships with those around Him. He “needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man” (John 2:38, ESV). Jesus was not blind to the risks, and yet He still pursued others. He fully realized many would attempt to use Him, lie about Him, and betray Him. Many times, these would be the closest friends He had. Why did He even bother? And better yet, HOW could He do it and not completely lose all hope?

Jesus believed it was worth it to risk rejection.

Jesus was not surprised when others let Him down. He could see past their behaviors and understood the heart issues that led to their failures as friends. He knew he was not the reason they were unfaithful or hurtful. He enjoyed who they really were behind all the crud that would show up from time to time. He chose to love them in spite of their flaws.

We may not realize it, but when we have closed ourselves off from others, we often have also closed ourselves off to God as well. That is where “coming out of our shell” starts: recognizing we need deeper connection with God. Jesus was so connected with His Heavenly Father, He trusted Him deeply to provide for all of His needs. He did not depend on one person or group. I believe He recognized that the good things people did actually came through people from God. Those things were worth the risk of the bad stuff that would pop up. In the midst of rejection, lies, and betrayal, He never gave up on people. God never gives up on us. He always pursues. This ultimate unconditional love and acceptance can give us what we need to push forward in relationships, rather than pulling away.

There have been many times in my life that I was facing a major decision and simply did not know what to do. Frustration would well up in me as the deadline approached. I would think, or even yell out loud, “God, why will you not just tell me what You want me to do!”.

Googling His Will does not produce a definitive answer.

Oh, wouldn’t it be nice if it did, though? Actually, I just googled this subject to see what I would find. Of course, there was no clear, concise answer. I predict this approach would have been even less helpful if I had actually been searching for a specific answer regarding a decision I needed to make. A lot of cool Scripture verses popped up, loaded with truth. However, reading over them all just seemed overwhelming and confusing. These random Scripture verses mentioned His Will and even gave examples of what it might look like, but they fail to deliver what I want in the moment: a specific answer on what to do next!

We can “google” in others ways. We often search through self-made lists of pros and cons or ask others for advice. I tend to analyze situations profusely, looking for the “right” decision, all the while hoping God will eventually send me a message via a burning bush or something! His Will seems so mysterious and evasive.

There is a common thread when it comes to what God wants, regardless of the situation.

Fear of making the “wrong move” can paralyze us. It would be extremely helpful if we could have one, simple thing to refer to whenever we get lost in confusion regarding a relationship issue, a job change, or any other decision we may face. Thankfully, even though there must be a thousand examples of doing what God wants us to do, there IS one thing that stands out as important, no matter what.

Several years ago, I was faced with an invitation to become an Interim Youth Pastor at a local church. I had no idea what to do. I truly wanted to do the right thing. I prayed all week. As the deadline approached to let the pastor and deacons know my response, I still had no answer from God on what He wanted me to do. Either way, I would have obstacles to face.

With no clear answer from Him, I just had to take a step forward or remain frozen. I decided to take the position. I knew it would require a lot out of me, facing my fears of public speaking and the unknown of a position I had never been in before. Very shortly after making the decision, I received confirmation from God of my decision. I thought, “Really? Why couldn’t you have told me this sooner?”

Above all else, God wants us to…

Trust Him. That’s the ultimate thing God desires. That is His Will for us. In deciding whether or not to take the Youth Pastor position, faith was exercised in simply making a decision, not finding and making the right decision. Regardless of what I chose, He wanted me to trust Him to be with me on the other side of it.

Faith produces the ability to push forward with difficult decisions.

In the midst of a major, potentially life-changing decision, God would rather us trust Him than do anything else. He desires the intimacy that comes with that trust. That does not mean weighing out our options is not important when needing to make a choice. It’s just that it should come second to trusting Him. Many decisions really have no inherently right or wrong answers. In other words, we could trust Him, regardless of which direction we take. Faith produces confidence and peace when we are at a crossroads and do not know which way to turn. Knowing a loving Heavenly Father is there, proud of us no matter what, makes all the difference.