How often do you feel like there’s not enough of something? There’s not enough time, not enough energy, not enough help, and somedays I feel like I’m just not enough. I couldn’t tell you how many times I have gone through my list of “not-enoughs” before even getting out of bed in the mornings. I wake up already behind. My to-do list is longer than the time I have for the day and I’ve barely had my eyes open for five minutes! I get out of bed defeated.
The concept of scarcity was presented to me through reading The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. In her book she quotes another author, Lynne Twist. It reads, “What begins as a simple expression of the hurried life, or even the challenged life, grows into the great justification for an unfulfilled life.” Waking up defeated starts my day unfulfilled and that theme usually continues throughout the day. When my mind is constantly focused on not having enough time, money, energy, help, etc. then there is no way for me to see what I do have and what I am capable of.
Gratitude is lost in the “not-enoughs”. She goes on to quote Lynne Twist and says “Once we let go of scarcity, we discover the surprising truth of sufficiency. By sufficiency, I don’t mean a quantity of anything……It is an experience, a context we generate, a declaration, a knowing that there is enough and that we are enough.”
Fear is usually lurking in the background. If we stop and really think about what is going on when the “not-enoughs” are consuming our thoughts, we will usually find fear rooted in there somewhere. Fear of what others will think when we can’t get it all done. Fear of failing. Fear of being exposed as a failure. Fear of what we think is true becoming true: that we are not enough. Shame tells us that we are not enough. Shame tells us that something is wrong with us. It feeds the fears. It feeds the scarcity.
When scarcity, fear and shame dominate our thoughts then we can’t truly experience what we have. We miss out on the moments that make up our day. We stay self-focused.
When the “not-enoughs” are all I hear myself saying then that is a red flag that I need to step back and do a quick evaluation. What can I do with what I have? Usually I have not even asked myself that question! When I do, I’m usually surprised by the answer and quickly realize that what I had in mind wasn’t even true or realistic.
Does your self-talk usually revolve around your “not-enoughs”? If so, I encourage you to take some time to think about what is driving that. What are you afraid of? As I discussed in a previous post, I encourage you to stay small and curious. Ask questions. Look around. Look up. Be present with where you are now and what you have. Being small and curious still leads me but it allows me to live and love along the way.
-Melissa
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