Three years ago, I left full-time counseling. There was more than one reason that led to my decision. For one thing, I was experiencing burnout. My love for counseling others had not changed at all. I deeply loved and enjoyed working with people who came to me for counsel (and I still do). However, something had led to an increasingly present problem that made it difficult for me to find the energy to continue a full-time schedule of counseling in April 2013. During the three years since then, a lot of healing has taken place. God has been responsible for that healing. He has walked with me through the realization of what was going on with me that led to burnout from something I had such a passion for doing. One major issue that has been made known to me is that I was living more out of my own strength than I was out of trusting Him.
How do others know that we belong to Christ?
In John 13:35 (ESV), Jesus said this, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” In other words, Christians are known by love. Love is the one piece of evidence that shines above everything else that we belong to Jesus and are adopted children of God. When we rest in the reality of being loved unconditionally by our Heavenly Father, others can tell. It is very apparent in everything we do. This love does so much I cannot possibly list it all here. Receiving His love leads to the resolution of the shame we feel because, in Christ, our old self has been put to death. We have a knew identity in Christ. Above all else, we are loved deeply by God. Living loved gives us confidence. His love casts out fear so that we can rest, knowing we are secure in His arms. And, as John 13:35 states explicitly, in this new life God has given us in Christ, we now have the ability to love one another. Some of us may have heard this so much that it is merely words that do not seem to bear repeating. However, when you think of how much turmoil, strife, and hatred fills this broken world (and often our own hearts and minds), it is simply amazing God has put inside of us, as His beloved children, the desire to love each other.
Often times, we get caught up in being known by things other than this miraculous love He has bestowed upon us. I have found that I was often caught up in these “other things” in 2013. Here are just two of these “other things”: fear and good behavior.
We are not known to belong to Him because of our fear.
When I started counseling, I was excited to minister to others. However, over time, fear crept in. What if I fail? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I hurt someone?! When I would become more focused on my fears than the love God had for me and had given me to share with others, I was stressed out. I would freeze at times, not knowing what to do. I lost confidence that I was any good at what I was doing. Not knowing or understanding the depths of what was happening to me, the opportunity to step away from the full-time position gave God a chance to make me aware of what was behind these fears.
Some fears actually make us feel like we are doing the right thing. Through the media we know a lot about what is going on (or at least what people tell us is going on). This invokes fear in many of us. We often feel driven to wrap ourselves up in these things and then plead with others to not let this or that happen. We put a great deal of energy into trying to prevent certain occurrences. We boycott, picket, and protest things we think are “un-Christian”. Some of them may be and some of these actions may be warranted at times. However, when we are driven by fear we are not resting in God’s love. We are just scared to death of not being in control. And others know it. They see it. They may wonder, what is the big deal? Or, they may join us in our current quest or argument. Either way, they do not see Christ in us because He is not made known to others by our fears. The tragedy for us is this: in those moments in which we are driven by our fears, we don’t get to experience His soothing love that is ever-present, and we do not get to experience the joy of sharing it with others.
We are not known to belong to Him because of our good behavior.
This is another one that tripped me up in 2013 when I realized I was burning out in full-time counseling. As the fears that I mentioned above mounted, pressure came with them. This pressure was to perform. Instead of living the reality of being loved by Him no matter what, I felt I was failing Him and others. This led to me trying harder to do the right thing each and every moment I was counseling. I put tremendous pressure on myself to not make any mistakes at all. Of course, I did. These mistakes did not come from me failing to try hard enough. No, no. They came directly from me losing sight of who I really was. I was not a failure that needed to work hard not to be a failure. I was in Christ, and Christ was in me…making me a redeemed, holy, and righteous son of God. And again, above all else, as His child I was loved and in no need of proving myself to Him through good behavior (or avoiding failure). With my attention solely on my behavior (and potential sins), I could not focus on the thing I needed to carry me forward: His love. Religious striving (focusing on avoiding bad behaviors and performing good behaviors) is sin-focused, not Christ-focused. We wind up doing more out of guilt than out of the love God has put in our hearts to motivate us.
Being driven by fear and striving not to fail will lead to burnout, not being more like Christ.
During the last few years, there have been ups and downs. I have looked like myself at times (who God says I am in Christ), and not myself at other times. Through it all, God has done something very special. He has helped make this more of a reality for me than ever before: I only become more like Christ when I am solely trusting in who He says I am. When I am living out of this new identity He has given me, instead of trying to work to make myself better, I get to experience His love and joyfully share it with others. The freedom that comes with this is amazing. I can see clearly that I could never burnout from embracing “too much” of His love.
-Neil
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