There are things in this life that we can control, but there are many things we cannot. Knowing the difference can lead to a better quality of life.
Attempting to control things adds stress to our lives.
The inevitable result of trying to control something that is beyond our control is stress. The reason for this is it is the goal to control the uncontrollable is an impossible goal to achieve. Even with a lot of focus and work, it’s always uncertain if we will get what we want. The stress from this can quickly lead to anxiety, anger, and feelings of hopelessness. These emotional states are not only draining, but if they are sustained, they can cause physical issues such as headaches, insomnia, stomach aches, and high blood pressure.
Attempting to control others hinders and even damages our relationships.
We all have free choice. We can manipulate each other to a certain extent, with things like guilt, fear, and anger, but it is actually beyond our control to consistently make others do what we want them to do. Even if we are successful in getting others to comply with what we want them to do, they do it begrudgingly and not because they want to do it. There are enemies of love between two people, and manipulation is at the top of the list. Relationships grow and flourish in an environment that is free, not based on control.
Attempting to control the outcome of situations prevents us from enjoying the moment.
Planning and looking ahead is important. But, if taken too far, it becomes a drain on our joy in life. One necessary element of enjoying life is being able to live in the moment. When we worry about tomorrow, we fail to see what is going on around us…right now. Enjoyment is not found in planning for what might happen tomorrow. It is found in enjoying what we have right now, whether it be a conversation with a coworker or a glass of lemonade on the back porch.
We are tempted to control things at the expense of our quality of life.
None of us would knowingly and willingly give up a better quality of life without being fooled into it somehow. There is, in fact, a trick to it. While trying to be in control feels great in the moment, it is only an illusion that robs us of joy, emotional and possibly physical health, and satisfying relationships with others. It feels good because we are somehow fooled into believing it is better for us to control whatever or whoever we are dealing with at the moment. It feels like there is less risk involved. It also feels good because we are often avoiding the things we fear in life when we are trying to be in control; things such as rejection, failure, and “something bad happening if I’m not prepared enough”. However, when we run from our fears, they tend to grow into monsters over time which are much more difficult to face.
Surrendering Control offers more benefits than the illusion of control could ever promise.
We are let down over and over as we strive to maintain control. Only when we are able to let go of our false sense of control can we truly experience freedom. We can enjoy the moment instead of focusing on what might happen tomorrow. In relationships, surrendering control creates a fertile environment for trust and love to grow and mature. It offers the opportunity to discover who we really are and actually be ourselves rather than hide behind masks that a controlling outlook requires.
The cure for control is trust.
Surrendering control is much easier said than done. We do not typically even consider surrendering as an option until our controlling ways have produced so much heartache that we want out. It’s still a choice, though. And it’s one God has been calling out to us to make in every area of our lives that we want to hold onto the bondage of being in control. The cure for the motive of control is faith. If we truly trust someone, we lose the drive to control them. When we trust our loving Father, the drive to control is removed as the driving force behind everything we do. Emotional, and sometimes physical, healing follows.
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Excellent writing