Time alone is important to me. Without it, I am not myself. If I go a few days without taking time to decompress, I get agitated, anxious, and exhausted. Some of us tend to recharge our batteries with alone time, like me. Others are invigorated by being around others. My son is a good example. However, none of us are without the need to take time to shut everything out and meditate on what’s going on inside of us.
We must forcefully make time to be alone.
Jesus would often pull away from people for some time alone. He did not always wait for things to settle down around him, giving Him an opportunity. In fact, He was vigilant to MAKE it happen. He would take time to Himself even when people were crowding around Him seeking something from Him. Luke tells us about this here:
But now even more the report about (Jesus) went abroad, and great crowds gathered to hear him and to be healed of their infirmities. But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray. (Luke 5:15-16, ESV)
It appears Jesus knew something important about alone time: if He did not make time for it Himself, no one else would do it for Him. If He had depended on others, He would have waited until it was convenient for everyone else. That most likely would have been never.
Making time to be alone is not necessarily selfish.
Jesus fully trusted God and never sinned, so He was not doing wrong when He pulled away from others for a while. This may appear odd, especially to those of us who are compelled to give of ourselves until there’s nothing left to give. There’s no reference to Him apologizing for His decisions to pull away, which I can’t help but think would have been quite annoying to some people who really really really wanted Him to do something for them. This leads me to the conclusion that Jesus knew time alone is not wrong because it was more important to Him than what people might have thought about Him for taking time for it. Why else would He make such an effort to engage in it without any apologies or the need to offer excuses?
We must seek the right balance of “people-time” and “me-time”.
It’s easy to get lost in busyness. Aside from our daily tasks, there’s often a sea of people seeking something from us. While relationships are important, and we must engage and offer ourselves in them to enjoy them and allow them to flourish, the time away is important as well. For me, one without the other is rather miserable. Without ample time alone, I’m so tired I cannot even enjoy a simple conversation with anyone. If I withdraw too much, I’m alone and miserable. A good, healthy medium is necessary. Knowing ourselves is important in figuring out how to balance the two because we all are wired differently, requiring a different mixture of “people-time” and “me-time”.
“Alone time” doesn’t have to be spent all alone.
How we engage in our time alone may vary, but one thing is for sure: much of it needs to be spent in introspection. We need to make our alone time worthwhile. Sometimes we may be so exhausted, staring at a wall for 30 minutes is the best thing we could possibly do for ourselves. However, if we never use our time alone to examine our thoughts and emotions, we are missing out on making the most of it. Few days should pass that we do not take time to look at what we are thinking and feeling. Our thoughts and emotions tell us so much about what is going on with us. They sometimes are evidence of potential issues we need to address. Once we see signs and symptoms of something going on, our alone time can become intimate God-time. We need to know what’s going on inside of us, but when we see something stirring, we need more than our own willpower to move forward. When Jesus engaged in His last bout of “alone-time” recorded in the Gospels, He was in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-46). He cried out to God. He strongly expressed the emotions He was experiencing. He surrendered His own will, renewing His trust in His Father. That’s what He needed to move forward with His pending crucifixion.
Whether it’s crying out to Him or quietly listening for His guidance, we, too, have a desperate need to embrace His grace and love by faith. That trust in Him is what compels and empowers us to face whatever our next step in life may be.
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