It’s official. I have an ulcer. This is not the first time this has happened. Stomach issues have been sort of a recurring thing for me throughout the years. It’s a sign of me being overloaded with stress and allowing the circumstances of life to overwhelm me. Sometimes I do this to myself, allowing too much to accumulate on my to-do list. Other times, I encounter difficult struggles that are beyond my control. This time around, it’s been some of both.
I find comfort in resolving issues. In other words, I like being able to say something is “done” and then move on from it. This may sound okay. Well, it is…until I find myself in a situation in which I simply cannot resolve the issue at hand (or multiple issues!). Lately, life keeps delivering problems at a rate faster than I can resolve the ones I already have. At this point, finding peace feels impossible. It’s a good thing my “feelings” on this are not true. There is a way out of this. Too bad I didn’t realize what was happening before the stomach pains began!
We often fail to see the warning signs.
Knowing the warning signs of mounting anxiety can be very helpful information. If I can catch myself before I go sailing off the cliff, I can help keep the negative effects of stress from accumulating to the point of a stomach ulcer (or some other troubling physical, mental, or emotional effect). The truth is, I find that I often make the mistake of not taking notice of the smell of what’s brewing.
Honestly, most of us behave this way. We find that we are in way too deep before noticing we are caught in a rip current. It’s sucking us out to sea, but we keep trying to swim harder to get back to shore. No matter how hard we fight, we keep getting pulled in the opposite direction.
The only thing that soothes our soul in the midst of stress is embracing His grace as a reality.
The good news is this: the way out is the same whether we catch the early signs and symptoms or if we wait until more debilitating stomach pains or a few sleepless nights occur. Actually, and please forgive me for sounding a bit corny here, the good news is “The Good News”. Only God’s grace can save me when things are completely out of control. The problem is, I keep trying to BE IN CONTROL. To embrace His healing and freeing grace, I must surrender the sense of control I have been struggling to maintain. This doesn’t mean I stop caring about the problems I’m facing. It doesn’t mean I get lazy and do nothing. Embracing His grace is anything but apathetic and passive.
His grace is always experienced through trust.
The underlying issue with relying on myself and trying to control things is never a failure to work hard enough, to know enough, or to be good enough. The root issue is always a lack of trusting Him. I rely on my own strength because I fail to realize how limited my strength truly is. I also may fail to realize the sufficiency of His strength. However, I often find that I realize He is far more than strong enough to handle my stuff, but I fail to trust that He actually IS handling it!
God is actively loving and protecting us all the time, whether we realize it or not.
My perspective for the last three or more weeks has been one of isolation. As the unwanted life circumstances have been hitting me, one after another, I have reverted to my old failed way of handling them. I’ve dug my heels in and said to myself, “I’m gonna get this done”. However, this time, I haven’t been able to satisfy this need through self-effort. Not one of the things on my increasing list of “undones” has gotten fixed through my diligence.
God has been inviting me into a place I resist often. While He lovingly desires that I lean on Him as I live my life (including the difficult troubles along the way), my flesh screams that I must handle things myself. My flesh and the Enemy scream the lie, “If you don’t do this yourself, things will just get worse!” The truth is, I cannot handle the brokenness of this world any more than I can handle my own sin. I NEED my Father to put His arm around me, to protect me, to discuss with me each step that I take as I move forward, and to love me no matter what. My problems and my stomach ache may not disappear immediately, but when I allow myself to fall back into his grace by trusting His love for me, it’s only a matter of time before I begin feeling the effects of the healing taking place.
Trusting God includes trusting others.
I almost didn’t write this last section, as this post is getting a bit long. However, I think it is important to say a little about this. As it is true many times in our lives, trusting God often means trusting others He sends our way. I’m talking about those trusted friends, family, or spouses in our lives. Despite the fact that I’ve encountered several people over the past few weeks that had no interest in helping me, others have shown up and offered a helping hand. It is often hard for us to humble ourselves (humility is always connected with trust!) and allow others to help, but it’s part of the journey we are on with our Father and the rest of His family.
-Neil
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