There’s somewhat of a joke in my family that “McLamb’s just don’t have any patience”. I cannot speak for the rest of us, but I have found it to be true often for this McLamb. I’m sure those who know me can attest to witnessing an episode of impatience on my part. Driving down the road, I sometimes find myself agitated by the person that pulls out in front of me and then seems to have all the time in the world to make their way into town…while I am looking every opportunity to hopefully make a run for it and pass them. When helping to train a coworker, I may be tempted to just take over and do the task myself. Even when my phone is dragging while loading an app, I sometimes find myself wanting to throw it.
Impatience can mean we have control issues.
I cannot go as far as to say this is true for everyone, but for me, it absolutely is. My lack of patience is a control issue. In the mornings, on the way to work, I have mentally begun planning my day. Part of that plan includes being at work at a certain time. Getting behind someone who is driving slow thwarts my goal. As ridiculous as it may sound (and honestly, it does sound ridiculous as I type this out), in a sense I have lost control over my day.
Impatience with small things means control issues with bigger, more important things.
Like I stated above, the particular example of getting behind someone driving slow is really no big deal in and of itself. There’s much more important things to concern ourselves with than something like that. Right? Well, not exactly. The truth is, if we find ourselves struggling with small things (in this case, seemingly unimportant indications of control issues), then there is no doubt we are and will continue to struggle with the same heart issue with other things…much larger and important things. And I’m not just talking about losing our cool with tasks or jobs we need to complete. This kind of heart issue can do damage to us relationally and emotionally as well.
God swoops in at the right time, taps us on the shoulder, and says, “Listen, isn’t it time we took a look at this?”
Recently, I was on my way back to work after lunch. I cut through a parking lot, thinking it would save me some time. Guess what. My maneuver to control the situation didn’t work. I got behind a couple of people that were really enjoying the scenery instead of hurrying up and turning at the traffic light. It turned red before it was my turn. I felt the swift flush of frustration, but then something else. I asked myself, “Why in the world does this matter so much to me?” I’m not saying God audibly answered me, but it was as if He said back to me, “Because there’s something poisonous inside of you that is causing you to overreact to things like this son. I’m ready to work on this with you, if you are.”
Fear is always at the root of a control issue.
Fear is a pain in the rear. Anytime there is a control issue that we are struggling with, fear is the culprit. We use techniques to try to control things so that our greatest fears are not realized. We may hide in the back and avoid eye contact at a meeting so that we do not have to speak in front of people out of a fear of looking stupid. We may try hard to impress others because of our fear of being rejected. Or…we may try to force our day (and everything and everyone in it) to adapt to our schedule and what we want it to be so that there are no surprises. Many of us often turn to routines and strict regimens as a sense of false security when dealing with fears such as “fear of the unknown”.
Small steps of faith lead to big steps of faith.
I felt God strongly leading me trust Him sitting at the stoplight. Trusting Him with something that seemed so small and insignificant kind of made me chuckle. However, I have seen enough of this stuff now in my relationship with Him to know that nothing is insignificant when it comes to trusting Him. No matter how small a step of faith may be, it’s HUGE in the grand scheme of things. Walking by faith doesn’t always mean traveling to third world countries to feed the hungry and share the gospel (although it definitely can). Trusting our Father does not necessarily have to translate to things like giving large sums of hard-earned money to someone in need, sharing your testimony in front of a large crowd, or getting your kids to church every time the doors are open. Actually, it can be much more about the little day-to-day interactions and decisions we make. In my case recently, it was about staying behind people I had considered slowpokes instead of zooming by them. It was about ceasing all the extra brain power I was putting into finding ways to make my day more “efficient”.
And then, I suspect, as I trust Him more than my own efforts to force my days to be as I want them to be, I will experience more of Him in my surroundings, what I do, and the people I encounter. I will also experience freedom from the stress of trying to be in control of everything, which is the kind of stress that leads to frustration, anger, anxiety, and potentially even depression. What a gift God gives when He invites us to trust Him! He wants nothing more than for us to rest in His love, even if it starts while choosing to stay behind someone going 35 mph in a 55mph zone.
***Please check back soon for a follow-up post on this topic by a special guest blogger.***
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