The Most Wonderful, or Difficult, Time of the Year

Christmas is a time of year that most of us view as a time for excitement, happiness, and peace. Of course, it is a time we can meditate on the birth of Christ and all that it means. For many of us, it is also time of high expectations. It is very difficult to avoid the unrealistic images all around us, and even in our own minds, of what this time of year should look like.

Big expectations can lead to big let-downs.

High expectations can get us into trouble. When we set goals in our lives that are impossible to attain, we wind up disappointed. During the Holiday Season, most of us are prone to set goals for enjoyable time with family and friends, smiles on everyone’s faces, and other satisfying experiences. The likelihood of our overly optimistic hopes and dreams being fulfilled is low, if not impossible. When we expect them to pan out as we plan, and they do not, we become anxious, angry, or even depressed. And for some of us (like those of us who have experienced tremendous loss), the idea of an emotionally rewarding time during any holiday seems like a cruel joke. By the time New Year’s has rolled on by, some of us are feeling the full weight of the unmet expectations of Christmas, while the rest of us are just glad that time of year is over!

Expectations are often invisible to us.

Many times, we do not even notice that we have expectations. This leads to the aftermath of them sneaking up on us. If we are looking for evidence that we have set expectations, the fact that we are disappointed at times proves that we have them. We cannot be disappointed if we had no expectations to begin with. Acknowledging that we have them, even when we do not see them, is a good start towards adjusting them if necessary.

Expectations are not always a bad thing.

It may appear that I am beating up on the idea of having any expectations, so let me step back and say that some expectations are healthy. The key is to set goals that are reasonable and attainable. Goals like that are helpful and motivational. A very helpful step we can take in this process is to look out for expectations that require someone or something else to do something before my goal can be met. If we rely on people and things that are out of our control, we are setting ourselves up for potential failure. For instance, if I rely on others to do something to make me happy, there is always the chance that, no matter what I do, others will not comply with what I want. Essentially, in those cases, I have set goals that are beyond my ability to work towards and accomplish.

Make a resolution for a step of faith towards healthy expectations and freedom. 

As the New Year is upon us, we all hear of the resolutions many people are making. Admittedly, I cannot remember ever making a New Year’s Resolution. They annoy me, quite frankly. I guess my uncanny ability to make unrealistic goals and expectations has left me cynical to the idea. But today, I am going to suggest something not only to those reading this, but to myself as well. It is to make a resolution to take a step of faith. In my case, this step will be towards letting go of unhealthy expectations as I detect them in my life. The temptation will be to hold onto them, or to “adjust them”, hopelessly aiming at moving targets that never satisfy me. Letting go of them will be like letting go of a security blanket because I have relied on them to have a sense of control. But in reality, when I choose to let them go, it is more like cutting off heavy chains.

This resolution is ultimately a reminder to rely on the One who truly has the power to meet my needs. Letting go of unrealistic expectations is an act of surrendering my efforts to meet my own needs and wants, and trusting Him to provide in fulfilling ways that I could not have planned out myself. This step may lead to new traditions, new ideas, new friendships, and new paths that I desperately need and would not have found otherwise.