Good friends of ours were visiting us recently at our home. They had their little boy with them, who was entertaining us all. I watched him as he was interacting with his mother and father, which, for some reason, really caught my attention more than usual that evening. Then, all of a sudden, something bad happened in the football game we were watching on TV. “Dang it!” exclaimed the father. I believe I yelled out something as well. Then, without hesitation, “Dang it!”, exclaimed the son.
Now, before anyone gets carried away, this is not a post designed to guilt us parents into “being better role models”, so if that’s where your mind just went…please, reboot and then continue reading. Rather, this post is a simple appreciation of how our children tend to copy us and how this relates to us and our relationship with God.
Where does this come from? I know it’s a natural tendency…pretty much everyone knows that. Our kids want to be like us, and this is clearly seen when they are young. When our children came into this world, we, the parents, were the first and biggest thing in their lives. In a healthy parent-child relationship, that child learns that he or she is loved, accepted, and protected. In a not-so-healthy environment, a child may not learn those things, but he or she still yearns for those things to be true. A child almost intuitively wants to trust the ones in the parenting role. This inevitably leads to a desire to imitate those parents, even if it is something they do subconsciously.
Created in the image of God, this must have some relevance to our identity as children of His, but have we gotten this thing backwards? I have heard many times how I need to imitate Christ. I need to “do what Jesus would do”. This often times leaves me more frustrated than when I started. It should come as no surprise that I fail miserably time and time again. I am trying to imitate perfection, you know.
In watching the young man at my home a few nights ago, I noticed that no one had to ask him to repeat what his father had said. And this young man’s copying of his father’s behavior is not limited to comments about a football game. I have seen him copy both of his parents in awesome ways that any parent would be happy about. No one has to ask him to do those things either. He just does them, as I stated earlier, intuitively. A deep, and personal, relationship has been formed between this young one and his father (and his mother, too, of course). He trusts them, fully. He knows who they are and what they are willing to do for him. He has seen it. He has experienced it first-hand. Yes, he rebels, at times, as all children do, but he looks up to his parents and, deep down (even when he is being difficult), has a desire to please them.
I believe this to be the same with us and our Heavenly Father. We can never imitate the good behavior Jesus exemplified without first following in His footsteps regarding the trust He had in His Father in Heaven. Jesus was perfect, but by His image being displayed through that young man in the story above, I am seeing just how perfect He was in the role of a Son. He trusted His Father fully. He had an intimate relationship with God, and this led to Him doing the things His Father would do. No one had to remind Him to love others. No one had to tell Him to speak the truth. It came as a natural by-product of being God’s Son.
And so it goes with me. As I fall deeper and deeper into this relationship God initiated with me and know Him as a true Father-figure, I find myself doing the good things He plans for me. This is not to say that there is no effort behind the works. I have said it before, and I will say it again: walking by faith is difficult. There is a concerted effort, but the most effort goes into my trusting Him as that perfect Father that loves, accepts, and protects me no matter what.
And for those of us that are feeling guilty after reading the story I shared above about the father and son, remember this: we don’t become great parents by guilting ourselves over silly things like an angry comment at a ballgame, striving to do better, or putting on a good act. It’s foolish to think we can be perfect or even fool our kids into thinking we are. The best thing we can do as parents is to be honest about and pursue our own relationship with God. Our kids ARE watching, and it’s important for them to see a parent being a child in an authentic relationship with our Father.
I encourage you to follow the link below and either read the letter or watch the video: