There are many wonderful things about being in a relationship. For one, in the context of true relationship you can mess up and know that everything will be alright. That is certainly the case with Christ. You’re safe because there is grace. It’s awesome when we can experience this with others as well, knowing you don’t have to be perfect to be accepted and allowing others to mess up as well. And, to our surprise many times, knowing there is Grace for imperfection will not spur taking advantage of it. Lack of love and selfishness do that. To be blunt, lack of true relationship does that. Hurting the one you truly love hurts you as well. Of course, if it doesn’t, we need to examine our hearts because we are merely posing when we say we are engaged in a true relationship.
We tend to label things and then move forward as if our label is accurate, even if there is no evidence to prove it is accurate. For instance, many of us will assign the words “I love you” to how we feel about someone else, but if we were pressed to show evidence to prove those words, we would come up lacking. We often want something in return, and if we do not get it, we are angry. Our words, “I love you”, come up empty when we understand what love really is (unselfish, unconditional, patient, etc.). Another example is saying “I am sorry”. There is a huge difference between this and true repentance. Repentance is backed up by consistent action…the words “I’m sorry” often is not. It can be the same with how we label our relationships. I can biologically be a “father”, but not display behavioral evidence that exemplifies what a father is. I can be a “brother”, but not act like one. I can be a “husband” legally, on paper, but not actually be a husband in my heart (and therefore not in my actions either).
In looking at my own relationships with others and noticing that sometimes my actions do not match what I claim to be, I think it would be good to take the time to examine this. It requires that I be really honest with myself. I must look to God’s Truth in Scripture to define the labels I have assigned to myself regarding others. What does God really say a “husband”, “father”, “brother”, “son”, and “friend” looks like? I need to know what He says and challenge it against what I am actually doing. His Truth will reveal what I need to see (my heart). Perhaps I will find that I am ignorant to some things and simply need new knowledge. Perhaps I will find that I have been deceived into thinking I was something when I really was not. Perhaps I will find that I am just being mean and selfish. Regardless of what I find, the issue behind why I am not engaging a relationship with love and grace will only be resolved by engaging my relationship with God first. By His Grace alone will I be able to be who He created me to be with others. I need to engage what it means to be His “son”, His “coworker”, His “chosen”, and His “loved one”. I must not only know, but hold fast to my identity in Christ in order to live it out with others.